I love unconditionally. I don’t have very many rules or expectations for other people. Mostly, I don’t take other people’s actions personally. I do have a problem with deceitfulness. Honesty is one of the most important elements of any relationship because trust is so important. Honesty and trust are needed to have a good relationship with family members, friends and lovers. I am sure a lot of people have been conditioned to lie to avoid drama but there’s never a reason to lie to me. It’s hard to be in a relationship without respect. Lying to someone (even little white lies) undermines a relationship because when you tell someone a lie you start to respect them a little less each time and they become a fool to you. Sometimes people get away with lying. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes people let someone get away with it rather than make it into a big deal because it’s easier but it causes a lessening in respect on both sides. Little lies can be just as destructive as big lies. I want to be able to trust everything someone that I know says to me because if not then I can’t 100% believe anything they say to me. I know that sometimes the truth hurts but the truth is reality and we have to learn to deal with it appropriately even when it hurts. I’d rather be hurt by honesty than believe in a lie.

    If you love someone and think that they told you a “white lie”  do you just let it go or do you say something to them?  I believe any lie is destructive in a relationship and I want the people in my life to know they can always be 100% honest with me. I like to clear things up right away when I think someone is being dishonest but sometimes people get defensive when I tell them I understand the urge to lie but want them to tell me the truth no matter what. I don’t want to make them feel like I am accusing them or judging them and starting some drama over nothing but I don’t want them to think they are deceiving me and I don’t want to think that they’re lying if they’re not. I never want to start drama. Would you want to know if someone doubted something you said so you could clear it up or would you rather they not say anything and keep believing you fibbed for no reason?

   I want to be able to say ” I love you so much and I am not trying to start anything but I hate thinking you lied to me and maybe you didn’t but I’d want you let me know if you had the slightest doubt about something I said to you. Maybe I am being too honest but I have to tell you that I don’t believe some of the details about something you told me last night. I don’t know why you would even throw those details into your story though. It didn’t bother me that much to start with but it’s bothering me more now because I can’t understand what I’ve done to make you think you should lie to me. If you didn’t make up some of the details as you were talking then I apologize. If you didn’t lie to me I would still rather you know what I’m thinking so we can clear the air. Even if it’s just my stupidity that needs to be cleared. I never ever want to hurt you or upset you or EVER make you mad at me. We haven’t been in this relationship long and I want you to know that if I never stressed it before: honesty and trust are probably the most important things to me in all relationships. I want you to know that you can be truthful with me. I won’t ask you to promise not to lie to me but I promise you that I won’t lie to you” but usually I don’t get passed the first sentence before it goes to shit.