Since I was a teenager I always thought when I was done with this shit I would just cut my wrist. Then I found out how unreliable a method that was and figured that my not work. When I thought Kurt blasted  himself I thought I would just use a shotgun and pull the trigger with my toe .Then rumours (now proven true in my mind) that he was murdered circulated and I thought “I don’t want to be one of those copycats just perpetuating the falsehood that he committed suicide when CL had him murdered”. About 6 yrs ago I decided if I ever wanted to take myself out it would be pills. I studied how to take them slowly so as not to cause myself to puke up the pills like an amateur because I didn’t want to end up hospitalized then forever frowned upon and judged. I thought that it would be my best bet. Later I was pondering shooting myself again because it would be so fast and just done. I was thinking “POW”  right in the head because BC said women never do it that way and I like proving arrogant bastards wrong.  Then I considered the fact that being an arrogant bastard that he is he would  just think the reason I used a method no woman would use was because I was a dike and manly anyway. Those considerations are pointless though because I don’t think he’s ever even heard of me. So then I decided that if it EVER comes to that I will shoot myself in the throat ….hardly anybody does that…and when aimed at the carotid artery you can’t lose….and it is a gun which is proving BC wrong but still bleeding out which is an extremely feminine behavior. Either way it’s nice to have options