Random almost audible quotes from in my head tonight
   “My girlfriend’s stairs were nearly my downfall” …. (“Seriously,” I just almost audibly thought )

SELF-proclaimmmmed “World’s Greatest Gourmet Sandwich”  (and I got it with the delightfully exotic bread substitute LETTUCE. And still.)

“Mutha Fuckin Sonovabitch….why the FUUUCK would they change the color scheme in the android messaging app to fuckin’ orange?! It was PERFECT with the blue tones now we got ‘Google oraNGE!?!?! What genius subjects us to this?!” (That’s a self-proclaimed  ‘paraphrase’)

“Fuck” (EXACT quote)