Kiddo

Behind my mask

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

Behind my mask of normality writhe the plump juicy maggots of insanity.

The seething growing mass of larvae crack the mask to reveal a fleeting glimpse of my mother’s substitute babies.

Mindless of my convincing facade they greedily consume the inner core that is my being.

Now snug in cocoons built of my disintegrated self, biding their time, nursing on my sanity – gorging themselves on my freewill, growing fuller and fuller

until they merge into me and we are rejoined as one.

BURSTING!

Shattering the outer mask to reveal a raving lunatic caught in a gossamer web…..

where reality is non-existent

New language of symbols…

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

   The language of symbols has changed so much in my lifetime. It’s fun to think about re reading an article, book, closed-captioning, maps, calculators even older emails and blogs and using our current translations for the symbols. OR reading something written this year and read it with our translation of language symbols from 20 years ago.

   Not everyone knows this # as a number symbol or pound symbol. Some people that are alive only know it as hash tag. (which even has it’s own gang sign….or hand jive… I don’t remember having a hand gesture for the symbol before it was hashtag…which I would’ve called sign language)    Parentheses make my science report from 1988 look like there all sorts of results that made me happy or frowny winky. Then there are the emoticons in my old vcr manual that have no mouths to clue me in on the emotion being expressed so I don’t know if a direction is being smart or smug or winking with an embarrassed or happy or sad face. The @ symbol sure gets a lot more play than when I was a kid. There’s been a dip recently after social media changed the need for this @janedoe to just ‘jane doe’ which then could be modified to just this: ‘jane’. Anyway doesn’t a colon look like a staring emoticon?  I noticed a couple of days ago while I was texting my kid and now I see the emoticons even with just one symbol. This is a winky ; not a semi colon. ^ is an arched eyebrow. Even without the eyes / is an embarrassed face and somehow & has become a kid scootin’ across the floor on his booty. See:  ‘ & ‘

   Children reading older literature might think “man that Poe was a cheeky cheerful fella” or that the bible was being sarcastic or mischievous….They could see Ethan Frome as cheerful ..I got lots more to write including something I just forgot but my hand’s asleep…I will pause here and maybe continue this later…I have a whole list of things I need to finish but keep forgetting because I start something else. Like when I started this….so I might not ever make it back. Right now I can cross “Start Long-Ass Pointless Post” off my list. One less thing…but meantime :

Sometimes I think about…

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

    Sometimes I think about all the undelivered messages that people didn’t get that would have completely changed their lives. Like when a mail plane (how can you tell if it’s a mail plane? Check between the landing gears) crashes or a mailbox(look underneath) gets destroyed or when someone loses their cellphone before they read their texts or listen to a voicemail.

   How many declarations of love or hate and unanswered questions are floating around us? What about a message from a birth mother to her baby that she had given up for adoption which reads “I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me so if I don’t hear from you I’ll never call you again”?

   Even an  embarrassing or hateful call that never gets heard. And when the hater has a change of heart and wishes they didn’t send it and they’re puzzled by never getting a reaction from the recipient and they just get over it and let stuff go. How many lives could have been better or worse?  Or over

Darkness…

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

 Darkness
I’ve been filled with it before
and knew I couldn’t take much more
The blackness filled me to overflowing
yet I managed to keep on
going

I waited it out
I made it through
Forgot about the shadow
when your light shone through

I never knew darkness could get deeper
So far beyond fear of
The Reaper

I knew that there were worse things than death
Just not that it could be the next breath

Blackness
caught me unaware
After allowing me to care
I thought that I had made
it free
but it was just toying
with me

Such a sick joke
evil smile while I choke
Don’t know if I can make it past
But when I’m gone
darkness will last
and last

Unis’s gauntlet…

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

    Sometimes the universe throws a gauntlet down right in front of me. I can turn around, go around or accept the challenge. Today I say

        ” Yo Unis, let’s do this”

    If you have any doubt the universe is female let me point out that anything so intricately organized yet totally random and ultra nourishing but can squash you in a wink must be female.

        “Hey Unis, next time you got me jumpin through hoops let’s do it on roller skates!”

I’m Kiddo and this is my Korner

Kiddo's Korner 24/7 Leave a comment

 

323771_318467998173982_1245870064_oNot that anyone asked me….
      I’m Kiddo and this is my Korner. Alternate titles for my site title: Kiddo’s Korner, Spinach in your Mamma’s Smile, Mutterings of a Mad Woman, Don’t Mention it, Never Argue with an Idiot , Lord Beer Me Strength, Random Thoughts, You Don’t Have to Thank Me, It’s What I Do & UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION.

I believe a sense of humor is the most important of the senses and feel that it’s my greatest tool for dealing with life’s issues.

Many people take most things waaaay too seriously!

    I enjoy laughing, relaxing, writing, reading, dancing in thunderstorms, taking too many photos of Earth, the sky, the ocean, people and creatures I come across as I wander through life. I enjoy actual conversation with like minded OR contrary individuals. Small talk is not only boring but redundant.

If you’re boring we can’t be friends. Or enemies.

    When a stranger asks how I am I usually answer “Great! How are you?” when they reply “Great? I wish I could say that” I say
“you can. Just say you’re great because when you stop to think about it you probably actually are” I certainly have problems like everyone else and sometimes they get me down. Sometimes I have to express my darker side just to get it out.

 For the most part I experience life’s ups and downs as a beautiful journey that I can not possibly predict from day to day let alone decade to decade.

     In today’s busy world we all need a place to relax and unwind.
My little Korner is my place where I can just be me with no labels to “identify” me or limit me. So much of life is about our roles as individuals: Adult, Parent, Spouse, Male, Female, Employee etc. and these roles are necessary. Roles aren’t a negative thing but they can cause us to sometimes forget who we actually are. Think back to when you were a child spinning around for no reason at all. Laughing just because it felt good to laugh. Noticing the world around you and wondering as you wander.

Sometimes we get caught up in life and forget to touch base with our true selves.

    In my life so far I have been self-conscious and insecure. I have been confident and proud. I have been scared and I have been brave. I have been scarred and healed. I have been lost and I have been found. I have been wrong and I have been right. I have had enough experiences to know that judging is preposterous. Judging oneself or others is non serving and leads to nothing useful. I know that we are all the same and that we are all very different. No one can walk in anyone else’s shoes and know for sure what they would do in similar circumstances. We can’t even walk in our own shoes and do the same thing every time even if the situation is exactly the same. The situation can never be exactly the same. Life is a state of flux. We change constantly so it’s hard to remain true to even ourselves. I go with the flow and try to live without expectation, judgment or regret.

I can not know what the future holds but I can accept it as it comes. I can accept me as I am.

Nobody is perfect but we are all perfect creatures and moment by moment we can choose to serve the light or the darkness.

Here I can just express my current self without a specific role to fill.
My Korner is:
~ A relaxed atmosphere where I never know what might happen next.
~ NO DRESS CODE
~ Meditation, half baked philosophical conversation, random observations and fits of the giggles are frequent occurrences
~ Rumination, supposing, philosophizing and self-analysis can occur without warning.
~ No topic taboo
~ bubbles and bubble wand are suggested accessories
~ spontaneous free style dancing almost NIGHTLY
~ Advice available upon request
~ NO underage drinking AKA: No wine before it’s time
~ Usually BYOB but occasionally I have been known to share
~ Drinking straight out of the bottle is not only NOT frowned upon but usually not even noticed.
~We don’t stand on ceremony cause life is phony in spite of it.

Scene from Dazed and Confused
Cynthia: God, don’t you ever feel like everything we do and everything we’ve been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it’s all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It’s true.
Cynthia: You know, but that’s valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn’t we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106677/quotes