2018 is a Wrap!

It is a good thing that I am a fighter when need be. Most of the days in 2018 were some sort of struggle for me. Most of the time I have had at LEAST one of the following: financial struggle, mental struggle, physical struggle, emotional struggle, mental struggle (I know I already wrote that but almost every struggle is a mental struggle). I struggle with my weight,I struggle with keeping my vehicle on the road and struggle with my health as well as my determination and drive. Being in my mid-forties and single is a recipe for struggle. But I know that a lot more deserving people than I did not even live to see 2018. I’m just happy to say that I have made it through another year on my own and you know what they say: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Unless it’s Rickets…Rickets leaves a person weaker forever. So I am very thankful that in 2018 I did not get Rickets and I send positive energy to those that did. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! Happy New Year to everyone on the planet no matter your religion, your politics or your IQ.Thank Unis for alcohol! Cheers! Gesondheid! Gan Bei! Na zdravi! Proost! Santé! Prost! ΥΓΕΙΑ! Sláinte! Salute! 乾杯! (Kanpai!) 건배! į sveikatą! Noroc! Na zdrowie! Saúde! Будем здоровы/ На здоровье!Iechyd da!Sei gesund! Salud! Skål! (and don’t forget to look everyone in the eye)

Unis bless us…everyone!

I DON’T like feeling RANTY

I have been feeling ranty lately. I swear if you talk to me for more than 10mins on any subject I am going to go off on a related rant. Possibly even an unrelated one. I DON”T LIKE THAT. I don’t want to be a ranter. I like being the joker, the problem solver, the nurturer, the encourager. I am the one that points out the POSITIVE!! I am about to go off on a rant about what’s wrong with ME!  no, I will spare you. I have just been feeling frustrated and tired from trying to figure everything out on my own for lo, these many years and my list of things that need replacing in my household or on my car keeps getting longer. I even need a few things fixed on my body!! I guess ranting is more acceptable than weeping these days. I’m a natural frustrated weeper but that is more annoying to others than ranting. I am trying to catch myself pre-rant. Do yourself a favor and just don’t get me started.

Good talk ~Kiddo

Philosophical Rant

All I can say about today is “UGH” and  “I’M UP TO THE CHALLENGE!!” Sometimes ppl will accuse me of being a pessimist (usually when I point out something to do with my looks or position in life) and sometimes people’ll accuse me of being an optimist but in both cases I respond the same way: I’m a realist…I see the truth and I’m not afraid of it. Life is beautiful. Life is discouraging and ugly but NOTHING can take away from the fact that despite the beauty and the ugliness we can CHOOSE to enjoy it and wring every bit of pleasure from it….and in that way even the ugliest circumstance becomes immeasurably  gorgeous. …so beautiful that it brings tears to the eyes….I have THOUSANDS of photos of beautiful sunrises,sunsets, storms and rainbows. ..they’re all spectacular and worth living to see the next one. The greatest wonders in life are free and just accessible to the pauper as the prince…priceless in their originality just as much as in their promise to come again in a slightly different incarnation. Life is a series of cycles. Tiny little cycles too small to notice and enormous cycles so big we could NEVER comprehend them and no matter if time is linear or deviant  we can experience it only one moment at a time….each moment to be appreciated or ignored. If we fully experienced each moment we would be useless….so we are open to distraction and interpretation which actually preserves us but the truth remains and our lives are the results of our random as well as meaningful choices. We are all but pixels in the bigger picture. The smaller we make our universe the more significance we play in it and the grander we make existence the less influence we have on it. Some people say look at the bigger picture without realizing that the enormity of the actual BIGGER picture is that we have absolutely no influence on the cosmos as individuals….so I choose to live the not so big picture and actually make a postive difference in the lives of my loved ones and my community. If everyone chose to do so the world would be infinitely better and the universe and the multiverse as well…but science decrees that a positive can’t exist without a negative which is great because I love lightning and magnets and equal and opposite reactions and sometimes the best thing to accept is that I only have so much power and therefore a limited responsibility even though the potential is available if we ALLL worked together. The chance that all creatures will work together for the greater good is slim to none which basically means that the pressure is off. Enjoy your little slice of life. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, the ball bounces and let the chips fall as they may. It’s all good. Inhale love exhale love…not one breathe wasted 🙂

A once meaningful person…

   A once meaningful person can walk around being insignificant and nobody notices. Yet, postmortem everything suddenly means more than it was. The ghost hangs around silently screaming  “FUCK YOU FOR NOT ALLOWING YOURSELF TO NOTICE WHILE I WAS STILL CONVERTING OXYGEN TO CO2 but please let your bereavement serve to make YOU interesting and your flaws not only excusable but appropriate as well – so GLAD I could help!”  This unheard rant is even less meaningful than all of the obvious but unheard pleas before. Even self-defeating do-it-yourselfers have uncredited assistants proclaiming “I never saw it coming. Such a happy person,” with the gall to pity themselves for their tragic loss.

THANK GOODNESS I read this today…

   THANK GOODNESS I read this today…

storm   I was about to be depressed but NOW I’m all better! Hope this storm just lasts and lasts! Thank you fb for reminding me that a face without wrinkles doesn’t have character, for allowing me to ‘Like’ if I love my kids, and teaching me the 15 things I need to give up to BE HAPPY! (And NO of course fb is not listed – that would be silly!!) Also, the bonus of not having to think about politics anymore because of all the posts about what has and hasn’t been done in the current and past 6 administrations.

   fb doesn’t solve ALL my problems but it shows me how to LIKE the problems that I’m stuck with. YAY!! PLUS someone sent me a guardian angel today!! I’m gonna pay it forward by picking a wounded warrior or chemo patient to send it to so I will feel like a really good person!

Oh oh Os…

   That awkward moment when you’ve gotten yours and the other person keeps texting and you go along with it because it wouldn’t be right to have your fortune cookie then just leave them hanging…

   but they go on and on and you occasionally reply “yes…that’s it” or “ooh I like it” but outloud your asking “OMG how long will they take!?” So you read a book then shave your legs then check fb and go online and download this pretty pink and orange O even though you had yours so long ago that you’re no longer even having aftershocks…

   then after 3 HOURS you text “sorry my phone is dying – hope everything works out okay and BTW I would NEVER bark for you – maybe growl or purr but WHO THE FUCK FUCKIN BARKS!? Goodnight!”

Oh