I just gave my oldest son his first car. It goes against every protective motherly instinct I have to protect my babies. I know my babies are both taller than me now but that doesn’t make them impervious to danger. Anyone that has known me knows that I didn’t even buy my kids a bicycle. They got bikes for their birthdays from their aunt & uncle but I had to stay in the house while they learned to ride them. They were six and eight years old so they didn’t need training wheels but I was too terrified to watch them riding and crashing in the street. I even turned up the radio so that I couldn’t hear as they crashed over and over again. They were both learning and crashed head on right into each other. They thought it was funny.

My son didn’t ask for a car. He knows the budget is tight and that I am paying all of the bills and taking care of them with just my paycheck. He did mention getting a job but I want him to start his college education and then work his job around his class schedule and not the other way around. I told him that I was getting him a car so that he could schedule an appointment with the local campus and restart his journey to a higher education that was detoured when I became single. I also told him that with a car he could help out by taking care of some errands for him and his brother since I am gone at least 12 hours most days. He still has his learner’s permit but has been driving with me in the car in the evenings and to church on Sundays for awhile. He has an appointment to take his driving test on the next weekday I have off. I want him to be prepared and comfortable so he passes the test on the first try. I’ve pointed out that people have been getting rear-ended since cars were invented even before cell phones quadrupled the number of avoidable accidents. I tell him over and over “watch where you’re going, keep an eye on your mirrors, keep space between you and other vehicles at all times even when stopped. Expect cars to pull out in front of you, be ready for people to plow through red lights…don’t be scared but BE READY for anything. I see accidents every single day that didn’t have to happen if people were paying attention”

I bought his car, got it insured, (DEAR LORD INSURANCE FOR A TEENAGED BOY IS TRIPLE WHAT MINE IS!) and paid over $600 for tax title and tag and that was not the end of the challenge.

My ex couldn’t help pay for any of this but it was all my idea anyway and I didn’t expect him to be able to help financially. I mean being a single man with a motorcycle to support has it’s own challenges as we all know. He did tell me if I needed help getting the car home to just let him know so I text him that I was picking up the car the next day and he said he’d help get it home. I had my own car to drive and he was going to ride with our son to get the new car home. So I got dropped off yesterday morning at work and had the new car delivered there and got the oil changed. Then my ex text me that he had to work until eight so he wouldn’t be able to help me get the car home. I text him back “that’s okay, just meet me at 8:10 because my car is literally 2 minutes from your job and then drive the new car 9 miles to my place and I will drop you back off at your motorcycle” but he text back “I’m sorry I know I said I would help but now I’m already going to be late for something else” anytime he texts “something else” he means one of the ladies he’s currently pleasing to keep using so I just text back “don’t concern yourself. I will handle it” then I drove the new car 40 miles to where my car was parked and parked it a mile and a half past my car, jogged to my car and put on my workout clothes but had forgotten my sneakers so I had to wear my work shoes. I drove my car a mile past my son’s new car then jogged to his car in my Dr. Scholls work shoes (I stopped at the bank to use the atm while jogging). It was a beautiful sunset evening and the fresh air felt terrific. I was near his car when he text me to say play practice was over and I could pick him up anytime so I text I would be there soon but he needed to be ready to hoof it. I drove his car to the rehearsal and beeped the horn and he walked out. I hopped out of the car and called “you have your license on you?!” he said yes so I said “get in and drive your car for the first time” His smile made all of my sweat worth it and we high-fived as we passed in front of his car. He drove us to about a mile from where my car was parked and grinned the whole time. Then we got out and jogged to my car and drove it a mile past his car and jogged to his car. I said it was like we were on one of those televised challenge shows and we were racing and running around town but that we didn’t have any chance of a big cash prize. We were laughing and sweating and enjoying the beautiful evening. He drove his car and I asked if he was ready to drive it the last 2 miles home because it was getting close to time to pick up his brother and we didn’t have time to leapfrog the cars and he answered with “It’s illegal to drive alone since I don’t have my operators” and I said “yes, I know and I don’t want you to ever break the law with your car BUT we can put both of our phones on speaker and you can stay right behind me and I’ll be able to watch your every move and communicate but don’t pick up the phone just leave it in the console” I was surprised he let me persuade him so easily but he had run enough and we were both starving. So he drove his car alone the last little bit and neither one of us got pulled over. By the time we picked up his brother, got 3 spare car keys made and got fast food garbage to eat for dinner it was past my bedtime but well worth it. My son said it was definitely a night to remember and a good story to tell about the night he got his first car. I said that was true and as a bonus I got to run 6.8 miles to make up for being too busy to get my evening runs in for a week.

When my son was first born it felt like my heart was suddenly outside of my body unprotected and I had to guard it and keep it from being hurt in any way. Then a couple of years later his brother was born and they started to really run around and swing on playground equipment and climb and skate and swim and RIDE BIKES! I was a stay at home mom and got to be there to run around with them and to protect them and teach them to be safe and finally started to become a LITTLE less over-protective. When I became a single mom I had to trust them to take care of themselves and to turn off the oven when they were done cooking and to not burn the place down.They were teenagers and capable of cooking but more than once my oldest child has forgotten to turn off the oven. I still call at random times to ask “is the oven off?” I am finally starting to get used to not being there to protect my big boys.

I do listen to my instinct to give my boys their wings even though I resist it a little. Now my heart is out driving a used Dodge Neon. >

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