I love when I’m on the phone with my mamma for at least an hour before she starts telling me the NEW times of all the OLD shows that play on a tv station that I’ve never even watched once in my life. I’ve only ever heard HER mention the station so I’m not entirely sure it exists. In fact, she makes subtle changes to the name of the station everytime she says it so I don’t know what it’s actually called. If it’s real. She told me the line up from 6 a.m. until 3 a.m…..so I don’t have any idea what comes on at 4 or 5 a.m. We talked for about an hour and 10mins before she told me anything that I didn’t already know and then right at the end of the call (just after the audio tv guide) she tells me Al from Happy Days died and then she told me goodnight.
#randomnewsfrommamma

One of my biggest goals is to get this kid the recording software he needs to improve his sound online so that be increases his exposure
https://youtu.be/1_iJ-yCVvOw

I’ve done so much good today I’ve got a soul boner. Lmao

That moment when you realize that the $200 you spent on a Christmas gift for your then girlfriend’s Couple’s Waterfront Spa Day was totally wasted because the gift certificate just expired. Idk, maybe she used it. For me it certainly wasn’t a Day of Delight lol. I’d honestly rather she got to enjoy it even if with someone else but I think she forgot about it. #thingsthatmakeyougoBUMMER

I hate that I was left. I hate that I am alone. I hate that I can never again believe anyone that says “I will be with you forever”

The web is at crisis point. It cannot cope with the sustained influx of new data. We have deleted temporary files, backed-up to the cloud, archived to DVDs and defragmented several times. Nothing helps: every byte is used the moment it’s freed.

Web Usage Breakdown

Sir Tim Berners-Lee devised the web to share research information in hyper-linked documents. Within twenty-five years, it now consists:

28.65% pictures of cats
16.80% vain selfies
14.82% pointless social media chatter
12.73% inane vlogger videos
9.76% advertising/clickbait pages
8.70% scams and cons
4.79% articles soliciting spurious statistics
3.79% new JavaScript tools/libraries
0.76% documents for the betterment of human knowledge
Prof. Ali Lo stated:

There are now more pictures of cats on the web than there are cats.

http://www.sitepoint.com/web-runs-disk-space/

http://www.geniegadgets.com/send-a-smell-app.html

Imagine if you will, you wake in the morning to the smell of bacon and coffee coming from your kitchen, it’s the best smell in the world and you’re going to want to share that with people so they can experience with you the utter joy that is somebody else cooking breakfast in the morning.

Straight to the point we know you’ve been waiting for this and we technological loving hippies here at Genie Gadgets couldn’t be more pleased to deliver it to your tiny little wanting fingertips, the ability to send a smell to your friends via your smartphone is now well and truly with us.

Why it’s taken this long we shall never know, but finally they have done it. The Send-A-Smell App comes bundled with a ®windometer smell receiver, this can be attached to any smartphone via the included adapters and using ®greentooth technology converts any smell in close proximity to the receiver to the same frequency your voice is carried over. The included app allows you to select who will receive the smell and the intensity of the smell.

Thanks to the way mobile phones have been designed the crystal which is already contained within the smell receiver’s mobile phone converts the smell signal back via tiny vibrations and the smell will start to emit from the receiver’s mobile phone…. potentially disgusting depending upon the smell you send… but very, very funny.

To be very clear, the receiver of the smell needs no additional device on their phone. The sender of the smell need merely capture the smell with the ®windometer smell receiver and current technology does the rest!

So what smell will you send? The beautiful smell of your perfume, the delightful smell of your dinner… or are you going to do what we did as soon as we got hold of it and reach for the beans?

This will make MILLIONS! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzXAZWnKitY

Finally a gym that gets IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nARGbAu8TeE&feature=youtu.be

I REALLY NEED THIS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_hHl245T9A

BOUND TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER
http://www.nettlring.com/

 I have loved beer commercials since I was a kid and would stop whatever I was doing to watch the bull come bursting through the walls like the Kool-aid Man in the Schlitz Malt Liquor ads. Through the years beer commercials have invaded pop culture and have given us catch phrases like “taste great, less filling”, “for all you do this Bud’s for you” and lovable characters like the Bud,Weis,Er frogs and Spuds Mackenzie. Some beer commercials are hilarious and some are relaxing like the Corona commercials which are sublime. The Dos Equis commercials with The Most Interesting Man have spawned a plethora of memes that are usually good for a chuckle and some days really are better than others just like Michelob taught us in the ’90’s. Even people that don’t drink beer can learn a lesson or two about enjoying life from beer commercials. Beer commercials can also brew (ha ha) up controversy. Last year One Million Moms contacted Guinness to ask them to stop using a christian hymn in one of their commercials. The Moms didn’t think it was proper for an adult beverage to be promoted by Leaning On the Everlasting Arms. I don’t know what Guinness’s reply was but I hope they pointed out that “christians” drink beer and wine and many of them drink liquor as well but even more so I hope they told the Moms what I used to tell my mother -in-law. “Jesus turned WATER into WINE for a wedding feast when the wine had run out. People were good and drunk and He made more wine and the guests were amazed that the best wine was served last. He made a LOT of very delicious wine so why wouldn’t His followers drink wine or beer?” People get offended too easily. Would the Moms rather popular beer brands use satanic lyrics? ANYWAY I saw part of a beer commercial today on ESPN while I was at work and I wanted to get the whole quote but I couldn’t find it online to quote it right. I think it was Miller Lite but it could’ve been another Lite and it had a bit like this ” It’s not somewhere over the rainbow” and later ” It’s wherever you are here and now” and “whenever you are you”. It seemed like some great philosophical gem. Does anyone know which commercial it is? I want to see it again but it hasn’t played again even though other commercials play over and over again and are annoying and offer no good advice. Those commercials could have their own rambling post but that’d be more annoying than this one. 

UPDATE: FOUND IT 🙂 

“They tell you it’s out there… somewhere…upon a star, over a rainbow, through the woods, down a road less traveled. Where the grass is greener, life is a dream and everyone’s happily ever after. That’s right, but it’s not on a map or some app, it’s not success or excess, it’s not someday or somehow, it’s wherever you are, whatever is true. Here and now when you are you”

I just realized that the word “swipe” has lost all of it’s glamour, mojo, sexiness, swagger or whatever. I, like most people, enjoy using the word ‘swipe’ to mean steal, thieve, take, pilfer, purloin, SNATCH, ;filch, lift, rob, nab, pinch, glom. I had never noticed until this very hour that the word has now almost entirely lost that meaning altogether. Now we use it more for describing what we do with our visa cards at the atm & Redbox or using our touchscreen electronics. Not only has someone else already noticed but someone has even added it to the many dictionaries available today.

Swipe: pass (a swipe card) through an electronic device designed to read and process the information encoded on it.
move (one’s finger) across a touchscreen in order to activate a function.
“simply swipe a finger across the phone’s display screen to switch to another program”

   and in more detail than I had thought of.  This “swipe” epiphany hit me today when I said ” I swiped this Maxim magazine from the waiting area at work because it’s features Candice Swanepoel”
   I couldn’t believe that Candice was the cover girl and main article (with delicious photos) and even declared “the most desirable woman in the world”. Candice had been my favorite angel since Charlie’s Angel Kris Munroe. That episode with the white bikini was permanently imprinted on my young brain. I saw Kris as the perfect everything. Six years ago I was again struck by a perfect angel in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I didn’t realize other people thought she was as amazing as I did. I never had a thing for VS models but she too sported a white bikini and was a divine creature. An angel. I never ever looked as good as either angel in my white bikini. It must be amazing to walk around that perfect for awhile. It does all eventually fade though. Have you seen what time does to even the most beautiful people? One day even Mila Kunis will look like Betty White. Time swipes the angels wings

A song my son & his bff wrote. She wrote the verses and he wrote the chorus and I just love what he can create with his guitar 🙂

To The – Homesick: http://youtu.be/WcbvDv9f7og

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way ~ Hurt – Trent Reznor -Nine Inch Nails

Dreading stepping out of my door before sunrise
like a death row inmate dreads the dawning of his demise

The forecast I’m despising
because the temperature’s not rising

 

praying Mutha Nate-cha calls in a last minute pardon
in time to stop the inclement warden

 

But the chances are looking slim
and the lights are bound to dim

 

I’ll admit I am a big baby when it comes to cold
and dammit it’s getting worse as I get old

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