Thirst

Like winter whiskey and summer sex,

I enjoy how just the scent of you makes me feel 

 

Without even a taste my eyes glaze, my tummy tickles,

my mouth waters for that which tastes like coming home

 

Each of you give me the opportunity to train myself,

to harness my carnal urges and abstain from even thoughts

 

It’s not your fault anymore than Whiskey or Sex 

 

Fire water, heated intercourse and your presence

my reaction to each of you blamed on my own thirst

 

Individually strong intoxicants that cloud my mind

the combination of the three of you would kill me

 

I would die with a smile of pleasure upon my face 

finding myself home at last and finally totally free

 

Old me gone and new me awakened into the light 

                  ~ Kiddṏ

 

Tanha literally means “thirst,” and is commonly translated as craving or desire.

 Pāli: Taṇhā, तण्हा
Sanskrit: tṛṣṇā, trishna तृष्णा

Pali: kama-tanha (sense-craving)

Also referred to as craving for “sensuality” or “sensual pleasures”

This is a craving for sense objects which provide pleasant feeling, or craving for sensory pleasures

Still Single

I can get myself off.

 

I can have wonderful conversations with friends.

 

I can go on nice long drives and hikes with buddies.

 

BUT

 

I miss kisses, cuddles, hugs and giving other people orgasms.

 

I’m a solitary chopstick

that misses being the big spoon or the little spoon.

 

Sometimes I even miss:

 

” What do you feel like for dinner?”

” I dunno, what do you want to eat?”

” I’m happy with literally anything so you pick.”

” Okay, let’s go to the Greek place by the lake.”

” I’m more in the mood for Mexican.”

” Cool, let’s go get nachos & burritos.”

“….or Italian”

“Okay, I’m good with Italian. Where should we get it from?”

 

” I dunno, I’m happy with literally anything”

~KiDD

The Impersonal Touch

Falling in love instantly at the impersonal touch.

Keeping my face matter of fact

Listening I nod as you move me this way & that

on the inside I am purring & arching my back. 

Whether being checked for bunions at fifty or headlice at seven

the hands upon me feel as if they are giving rather than taking.

Like heaven.

Instantly and forever but just a little

In love

~Kiddo

Commodious

Read on a bathroom stall…

I’m nobody’s anything
except perhaps second string
certainly no one’s first choice
going days without hearing a voice
or using mine
which is fine
It’s all just white noise
so I wrote this on the bathroom stall
and snapped it with my phone
sober
because I’m no longer drinking alone.

~ Kiddo

commodious

adjective
com·mo·di·ous | \ kə-ˈmō-dē-əs \
1:comfortably or conveniently spacious :

ROOMY
as in a commodious closet
2:archaic: HANDY, SERVICEABLE

Kiddo: Roomy, HANDY, serviceable 🙂

Kiddos Tip: When ‘commodious’ is used to describe a bathroom it could be confusing…do it anyway.

Discussion Group

I would love to have a respectful, intelligent conversation with myself at different stages in my life. Wouldn’t it be neat to sit in a discussion group with your six year old self, your thirteen year old self, your twenty one year old self, your twenty six, thirty five, forty four, fifty five, sixty six, seventy, eighty, ninety year old self?

There would be so many differences of opinion expressed and so many beliefs that contradicted each other. How can anyone feel like someone else’s beliefs and ideas are wrong when we don’t even agree with ourselves at different stages of our journey? How could we ever feel superior over anyone else because of how they decipher the clues and try to explain the intricacies of existence from their own current point of view.

How can anyone KNOW that they’re right and that everyone else that doesn’t agree with them is WRONG. If you ruled out the childish beliefs of your younger selves in the discussion group you would still have several full grown adult opinions of your own that differed. If you did rule out every theory and belief of the childhood yous in your discussion group what would YOU MISS OUT ON!?

Wouldn’t it be amazing to lay in a field with your younger selves making shapes out of clouds while discussing total randomness?

If you’ve read all of this I have one final thought: Go for a hike in the woods or walk through your neighborhood with your five year old self. Have yourselves an adventurous magical journey!

~ Kiddo

2018 is a Wrap!

It is a good thing that I am a fighter when need be. Most of the days in 2018 were some sort of struggle for me. Most of the time I have had at LEAST one of the following: financial struggle, mental struggle, physical struggle, emotional struggle, mental struggle (I know I already wrote that but almost every struggle is a mental struggle). I struggle with my weight,I struggle with keeping my vehicle on the road and struggle with my health as well as my determination and drive. Being in my mid-forties and single is a recipe for struggle. But I know that a lot more deserving people than I did not even live to see 2018. I’m just happy to say that I have made it through another year on my own and you know what they say: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Unless it’s Rickets…Rickets leaves a person weaker forever. So I am very thankful that in 2018 I did not get Rickets and I send positive energy to those that did. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! Happy New Year to everyone on the planet no matter your religion, your politics or your IQ.Thank Unis for alcohol! Cheers! Gesondheid! Gan Bei! Na zdravi! Proost! Santé! Prost! ΥΓΕΙΑ! Sláinte! Salute! 乾杯! (Kanpai!) 건배! į sveikatą! Noroc! Na zdrowie! Saúde! Будем здоровы/ На здоровье!Iechyd da!Sei gesund! Salud! Skål! (and don’t forget to look everyone in the eye)

Unis bless us…everyone!

Survival Instinct 

I think that deep down we all know that the end is THE END. That we all return to the void that we were before we were conceived. We don’t experience the void because we are not conscious. We don’t exist before conception and we won’t exist again. Otherwise why would there be the survival instinct? We can all TRY to fool ourselves into believing that we believe in an afterlife but if we do then why do we fight to stay in this life or dread death? The pain and scariness of the actual act of DYING is understandable but the terror of being dead forever is ridiculous. We weren’t ALIVE for most of time and even the oldest person’s life is short compared to the the time that they are not alive. Deep down there is a certainty that we will soon be nonexistent again. Nonexistence is the easy part but it is not enjoyable. Even pain and uncertainty are an experience. Nonexistence is the absence of experience and I can see how that can be attractive to people struggling in this life but the beauty is in the struggle. The void may seem beautiful from this side and the thought of never ever struggling again is certainly attractive but the knowledge that it is not only unavoidable but also permanent is reason enough to put it off for as long as possible. If we TRULY believed there was a future to experience after death we would not have a survival instinct that kicks in when our consciousness is threatened. We would not gasp for breath or claw our way to the surface. We would simply relax into our exit or be excited for the adventure of the next phase of existence. We wouldn’t come up with elaborate bed time stories of paradise to comfort us about death. Enjoy life because just like anyone that has ever lived or will live it’s the only one you get. This life is precious and beautiful for no other reason than that it is PRECIOUS and BEAUTIFUL and it doesn’t have to mean a thing.

I’m Kiddo and this is my Korner

 

323771_318467998173982_1245870064_oNot that anyone asked me….
      I’m Kiddo and this is my Korner. Alternate titles for my site title: Kiddo’s Korner, Spinach in your Mamma’s Smile, Mutterings of a Mad Woman, Don’t Mention it, Never Argue with an Idiot , Lord Beer Me Strength, Random Thoughts, You Don’t Have to Thank Me, It’s What I Do & UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION.

I believe a sense of humor is the most important of the senses and feel that it’s my greatest tool for dealing with life’s issues.

Many people take most things waaaay too seriously!

    I enjoy laughing, relaxing, writing, reading, dancing in thunderstorms, taking too many photos of Earth, the sky, the ocean, people and creatures I come across as I wander through life. I enjoy actual conversation with like minded OR contrary individuals. Small talk is not only boring but redundant.

If you’re boring we can’t be friends. Or enemies.

    When a stranger asks how I am I usually answer “Great! How are you?” when they reply “Great? I wish I could say that” I say
“you can. Just say you’re great because when you stop to think about it you probably actually are” I certainly have problems like everyone else and sometimes they get me down. Sometimes I have to express my darker side just to get it out.

 For the most part I experience life’s ups and downs as a beautiful journey that I can not possibly predict from day to day let alone decade to decade.

     In today’s busy world we all need a place to relax and unwind.
My little Korner is my place where I can just be me with no labels to “identify” me or limit me. So much of life is about our roles as individuals: Adult, Parent, Spouse, Male, Female, Employee etc. and these roles are necessary. Roles aren’t a negative thing but they can cause us to sometimes forget who we actually are. Think back to when you were a child spinning around for no reason at all. Laughing just because it felt good to laugh. Noticing the world around you and wondering as you wander.

Sometimes we get caught up in life and forget to touch base with our true selves.

    In my life so far I have been self-conscious and insecure. I have been confident and proud. I have been scared and I have been brave. I have been scarred and healed. I have been lost and I have been found. I have been wrong and I have been right. I have had enough experiences to know that judging is preposterous. Judging oneself or others is non serving and leads to nothing useful. I know that we are all the same and that we are all very different. No one can walk in anyone else’s shoes and know for sure what they would do in similar circumstances. We can’t even walk in our own shoes and do the same thing every time even if the situation is exactly the same. The situation can never be exactly the same. Life is a state of flux. We change constantly so it’s hard to remain true to even ourselves. I go with the flow and try to live without expectation, judgment or regret.

I can not know what the future holds but I can accept it as it comes. I can accept me as I am.

Nobody is perfect but we are all perfect creatures and moment by moment we can choose to serve the light or the darkness.

Here I can just express my current self without a specific role to fill.
My Korner is:
~ A relaxed atmosphere where I never know what might happen next.
~ NO DRESS CODE
~ Meditation, half baked philosophical conversation, random observations and fits of the giggles are frequent occurrences
~ Rumination, supposing, philosophizing and self-analysis can occur without warning.
~ No topic taboo
~ bubbles and bubble wand are suggested accessories
~ spontaneous free style dancing almost NIGHTLY
~ Advice available upon request
~ NO underage drinking AKA: No wine before it’s time
~ Usually BYOB but occasionally I have been known to share
~ Drinking straight out of the bottle is not only NOT frowned upon but usually not even noticed.
~We don’t stand on ceremony cause life is phony in spite of it.

Scene from Dazed and Confused
Cynthia: God, don’t you ever feel like everything we do and everything we’ve been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it’s all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It’s true.
Cynthia: You know, but that’s valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn’t we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106677/quotes