Friend Zoned (Spoken word)

You say don’t say or even think things

but then YOU say things that make me think things

Unintentional teasing is not the most delicious torture ever

SEEMINGLY unintentional teasing is…

 

so I’m pretending that you HAVE to know

what you are doing to me

 

Unable to always CONTROL
my thoughts or feelings

I’m managing my actions
so you’ll just have to

be happy (deprived) with that

Maybe BECAUSE certain experiences are taboo

under your guidelines…

 

I’m catching myself

drinking YOU in with my eyes

Silently gasping at a flicker of flesh

my mind playing vivid movies of what

I could be doing to you from this angle

with you in the exact POSITION that

you’re in now

…ughhhh

 

YOUR body so casual and close

but feeling like an overdose

 

Attempting to reign in my thoughts

and being successful

for moments at a time

 

I can’t help loving the consolation prizes my mind

provides itself in commiseration

with my FLESH for the gifts it can’t give you

 

prizes SO graphic and specific
that I know exactly

how far my fingers would
reach around and down

if my hungry palms PERFECTLY cupped the exposed

sections of your sides just above your hips…

from behind

…grrrr

 

FOR me just the thoughts will have to do

is it my imagination or can you see us too?

Tasting you so fully with all of MY senses

except the most delicious aspect

of taste which is TOUCH.

 

OBVIOUSLY,

 

touch is what I’m CRAVING so much

even as I control the urge

 

tingling MY hairs stand up

but instead of goose bumps

my arms and neck are textured by

tiny

little

throbbing

clits

 

…fffuuuuu

 

Keeping things proper,

my face calm, voice light.

My LUST hidden

Saved up FOR later tonight

 

Life is for PLEASURE even if I

have to pleasure myself

 

AND like a ride is more exciting

with both peaks and valleys

 

now I’m thinking of your peaks and valleys

…shhht

 

and of riding

*sigh*

 

PASSION for anyone or anything

is exciting even if unrequited

and makes life more fascinating

 

I thank Unis FOR what I do get…

the things that are real

as well as the visions that are not (yet)

 

I find LIFE. pleasing when I am with you

as I have from the start

 

from a platonic overnight STAY,

to a conversation by phone or by text

I enjoy it all even realizing that NOTHING could be next

 

Knowing not if we will EVER talk again.

This all COULD be over, come to an end

finished between the rising of the sun

and the setting of the moon.

Whenever it is over will feel much too soon

 

So for now I’m letting it BE

 

enjoying the tidbits I get

never pushing unless prompted to

 

Probably BETTER for you

 

That I keep MY hands to myself

and just enjoy the gorgeous view

 

from the FRIEND. zone

~KiDD

1st place

I’m sure that it would make me uncomfortable if anyone ever tried to put me first.

Hell, maybe someone already has and I successfully resisted that pointless horse shit.

The only 1st I can actually enjoy are 1st place ribbons I earn myself.

Whether it be through foot races, spelling bees or science fairs I enjoy becoming 1st through my own efforts.

Other than that I’d much rather put everyone else before me even if they haven’t earned it.

So, would I like someone else to make my wants and desires a priority?

Like the owl with the Tootsie Pop: The world may never know.
~ Kiddo

Kiddo’s Vegan Rap

So often I hear: “Table for one?” Because that is all they sees.

So I smile politely as I say: “Yes please.”

But really for two:
Me and the ghost of who I used to beees.

I order fake alfredo and that fake cheese.

Mixed with mushrooms, onions and those sweet peas.

Only two legged animals injured in the making of this meal.

(but not the chimpanzees)

Who would’ve thought it would take so many years to heal?

(being single like a disease.)

Whether it comes out wrong or it comes out right;

I eat it all, don’t lick the plate, I finish every bite.

Pay the bill and tip well then we drive home for the night.

Snuggle my ghost beneath the covers as I close my eyes.

Struggle with no needs of another
that’s my big prize.

“Peace”

*drops the mic

~ Kiddo

Extraordinarily Ordinary

You know when you squirt the dish soap into the sink and seconds later you notice a PLETHORA of tiny magical bubbles floating all around you and you instantly feel like the hills are alive with the sound of music? (I guess to younger folks you’d feel like a Disney Princess). Well that happened to me this evening and nothing else that happened today matters. Excuse me while I sing with the woodland creatures that have inhabited my kitchen.

~KiDD

 

The Impersonal Touch

Falling in love instantly at the impersonal touch.

Keeping my face matter of fact

Listening I nod as you move me this way & that

on the inside I am purring & arching my back. 

Whether being checked for bunions at fifty or headlice at seven

the hands upon me feel as if they are giving rather than taking.

Like heaven.

Instantly and forever but just a little

In love

~Kiddo

Unintentional Feelings

Dream whirled

Feelings that I do not intend to use
nothing to gain
but what is there to lose?

Delectable flutterings like a tasty crave
difficult to manage
trying to get my thoughts to behave.

Dazed, preoccupied and distracted,
scenes involuntarily imagined
unable to be redacted.

Slight control of my delicious dreams,
less than usual,
maybe that’s just the way that it seems.

Perhaps my effort is merely token,
a sham of an endeavor,
to cease dreaming of things emphatically left unspoken.

Can it even be done?
Please do not teach me.
That would be less fun.

Dallying with the consciously unthought
we drift through my nocturnal illusion
where deed and sentiment are less fraught.

Serendipitous pleasures I don’t want to miss
I won’t learn how to quit
Ignorance is such delicious bliss.

~KiDD

Dream whirled

Luna my Love

I woke before 4a.m. and tried to sink back into sweet sweet sleep but I felt lonely and untouched so eventually I gave up. Feeling a tidal pull I went outside to commune with the brilliant waxing Beaver moon.

Luna felt my longing and let me know that she empathized easily with my situation because she too is old and alone and untouched by human flesh even though she waxes every month.

“Aha, so the conspiracy theorist are correct!” I thought but she replied “No, I have had visitors in the past but those space suits do not allow for physical intimacy.”

I felt that

I was feeling better about my own situations and thanked her as usual for her lunar inspirations and I lifted my face another moment to bathe in her light.

As I turned to prepare for my day I felt her say “Don’t worry my darling this is but a phase.”

I smiled at her phase turn of phrase. If anyone should know about that it is she.
~ Kiddo 11/11/2019

You can just see the dark edge – not quite full 🙂