I’m happy to have lived through more times wishing that they would never end
than times wishing that they would
~KiDDṏ
I’m happy to have lived through more times wishing that they would never end
than times wishing that they would
~KiDDṏ
Gorgeous January morning in Florida
click HERE for a short video of me accompanied by Norah Jones’ Sunrise

I’m sure that it would make me uncomfortable if anyone ever tried to put me first.
Hell, maybe someone already has and I successfully resisted that pointless horse shit.
The only 1st I can actually enjoy are 1st place ribbons I earn myself.
Whether it be through foot races, spelling bees or science fairs I enjoy becoming 1st through my own efforts.
Other than that I’d much rather put everyone else before me even if they haven’t earned it.
So, would I like someone else to make my wants and desires a priority?
Like the owl with the Tootsie Pop: The world may never know.
~ Kiddo
Warning: Don’t casually touch me. My flesh is thirsty
~KiDDṏ
So often I hear: “Table for one?” Because that is all they sees.
So I smile politely as I say: “Yes please.”
But really for two:
Me and the ghost of who I used to beees.
I order fake alfredo and that fake cheese.
Mixed with mushrooms, onions and those sweet peas.
Only two legged animals injured in the making of this meal.
(but not the chimpanzees)
Who would’ve thought it would take so many years to heal?
(being single like a disease.)
Whether it comes out wrong or it comes out right;
I eat it all, don’t lick the plate, I finish every bite.
Pay the bill and tip well then we drive home for the night.
Snuggle my ghost beneath the covers as I close my eyes.
Struggle with no needs of another
that’s my big prize.
“Peace”
*drops the mic
~ Kiddo
You know when you squirt the dish soap into the sink and seconds later you notice a PLETHORA of tiny magical bubbles floating all around you and you instantly feel like the hills are alive with the sound of music? (I guess to younger folks you’d feel like a Disney Princess). Well that happened to me this evening and nothing else that happened today matters. Excuse me while I sing with the woodland creatures that have inhabited my kitchen.
~KiDDṏ
Falling in love instantly at the impersonal touch.
Keeping my face matter of fact
Listening I nod as you move me this way & that
on the inside I am purring & arching my back.
Whether being checked for bunions at fifty or headlice at seven
the hands upon me feel as if they are giving rather than taking.
Like heaven.
Instantly and forever but just a little
In love
~Kiddo
When I am experiencing anxiety: My mind knows nothing is going to happen but can’t stop thinking “But what if it does?!”
When I am experiencing an unrequited crush: My mind knows nothing is going to happen but can’t stop thinking “But what if it does?!”
~KiDDṏ
Feelings that I do not intend to use
nothing to gain
but what is there to lose?
Delectable flutterings like a tasty crave
difficult to manage
trying to get my thoughts to behave.
Dazed, preoccupied and distracted,
scenes involuntarily imagined
unable to be redacted.
Slight control of my delicious dreams,
less than usual,
maybe that’s just the way that it seems.
Perhaps my effort is merely token,
a sham of an endeavor,
to cease dreaming of things emphatically left unspoken.
Can it even be done?
Please do not teach me.
That would be less fun.
Dallying with the consciously unthought
we drift through my nocturnal illusion
where deed and sentiment are less fraught.
Serendipitous pleasures I don’t want to miss
I won’t learn how to quit
Ignorance is such delicious bliss.
~KiDDṏ

I woke before 4a.m. and tried to sink back into sweet sweet sleep but I felt lonely and untouched so eventually I gave up. Feeling a tidal pull I went outside to commune with the brilliant waxing Beaver moon.
Luna felt my longing and let me know that she empathized easily with my situation because she too is old and alone and untouched by human flesh even though she waxes every month.
“Aha, so the conspiracy theorist are correct!” I thought but she replied “No, I have had visitors in the past but those space suits do not allow for physical intimacy.”
I felt that
I was feeling better about my own situations and thanked her as usual for her lunar inspirations and I lifted my face another moment to bathe in her light.
As I turned to prepare for my day I felt her say “Don’t worry my darling this is but a phase.”
I smiled at her phase turn of phrase. If anyone should know about that it is she.
~ Kiddo 11/11/2019


~KiDDṏ

seeking solace in the horizon of life and beyond
Updates on current Projects at the Siena Art Institute in Siena, Italy. For more info visit our website www.sienaart.org
Poetry and words
Doing What Makes My Soul Shine
writing is sorrow; having had written is sublime
in search of a better us
Fighting Depression, Anxiety, and Self-Harm
Subtitles: Kiddo's Korner, Spinach in Your Mamma's Smile, Mutterings of a Mad Woman, Don't Mention It, Never Argue with an Idiot , Lord Beer Me Strength, Random Thoughts, You Don't Have To Thank Me (It's What I Do) and UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION.
MY TAKE ON LIFE.
Mind • Body • Life
A collection of nonsensical words thrown together
adventures of sadie and momma
A "How to Thrive" Guide After Divorce
A Hopefully Formerly Depressed Human Vows To Practice Self-Approval